Posted by: Vicky | May 3, 2016

Speed dating: when five minutes can feel like the longest first date ever

For the sake of this blog post I'm going to call him A. It was the first letter that popped into my head that wasn't his actual initial. I put a big cross in the NO column by A's name tonight. Here's why.

When A sat down opposite me, he already seemed to be glaring at me. I decided to go with the assumption that a glare is his resting facial expression, since I couldn't imagine how I might already have offended him. I'm not sure I was right about that. This is how the conversation started.

  • A: Hi, Vicky [we were wearing name tags], I'm A.
  • Me: Hi A, how are you? Are you enjoying the evening?
  • A (grumpily): It's ok.
  • A (quite aggressively): Have you been married?
  • Me (shocked): Um. No, I haven't.
  • Me(a little cross): Have you been married?
  • A: Um. Well. That's complicated. It would take too long to explain.
  • Me: ?! [stunned silence]
  • A (quite aggressively): Do you have children?
  • Me (quite cross now): No, I don't. Do you have children?
  • A (uncomfortably): [mumble mumble] just one [mumble mumble]…
  • A (aggressively): How old are you?
  • Me (still cross): 32.
  • A: You're 32 and you've never been married?! What's wrong with you?!

I kid you not. These may not be his exact words, but they're not exaggerated for comic effect. There was no need to exaggerate. He actually, literally, in real life, asked me to my face what is wrong with me that I've made it to the ripe old age of 32 without having managed to get married even once!

I didn't do a very good job of defending myself, I hadn't realised I'd need to. Instead I went on the offensive. So he had an uncomfortable few minutes avoiding answering my questions (demands for information, really) about why his marriage failed.

Even without an answer from him, I can hazard a guess…


I had a fantastic evening meeting some lovely guys, but of course the outlier makes for the best story. Always the way. Did I ever write about the first date I went on where the guy blew his nose in his sleeve halfway through a sentence? His sentence, not mine, and he completed the sentence as if nothing untoward had happened ;)




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